Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
