Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
