it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
