We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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