Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize