one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
