Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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