yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
