I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
