the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
