no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
