is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
