I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
