I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
