I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
