Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
