.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
