You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
