saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
