I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
