He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
