:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
