Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
