How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
