Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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