Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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