i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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