i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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