I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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