Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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