Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
