the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
