So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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