Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
