Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
