my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
