just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
