Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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