just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
