Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
