i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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