To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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