I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
