What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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