I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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