Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
