So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
