Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
