WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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