I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
