I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
