So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
