You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
