Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
