Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its not stalking. its research.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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