u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
