she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
